Ashley’s Problem
A resident evil 4 fanfic in progress
"Dad, Ashley! <hug> Mr. Kennedy you’re going to be greatly rewarded for this. Thank you sir. <blart> Ashley, did you just…soil yourself. I-I-There are probably some side affects from the virus parasite, sir. I think she would like some help. Alright. <sniffle> C’mon Ashley let’s get you cleaned up. Her room is the third door on the left.
Thanks Leon. No problem. Not again! What? You wet yourself. C’mon let’s clean you up again.
Sorry it took so long sir she had another accident on the way back. Another one? Ashley, we’re going to have to do something about this. I want to live with Leon. What? He can take care of me, and I like him. Please. Leon is this ok with you? Sure. I suggest you go out and buy her some diapers. Okay.
Thanks, for letting me live with you, Leon. You’re a sweet kid, how could I disappoint you. Come meet me in the bedroom.
I’m here, Leon. Okay, I know you probably won’t like it but you’re gonna have to wear diapers. Why? Because: One I don’t want you ruining my carpet, and two your father suggested it. But-No buts. You’re going to wear them whether you like it or not. Now hold still. Noooo!
I don’t wanna wear diapers! You might as well be wearing them if you’re going to act like a baby. Besides they really make your butt look cute. You pervert. I’ve got an idea. You pretend to be a baby and I’ll take care of you. No way. C’mon do it for me just for today. Fine. Good, now come here.
Today was awesome! Time for bed, Ashley. Coming. Um, Leon. Yeah? Can I sleep with you? Sure. Goodnight, Ashley. Goodnight Leon.
Leon, about what we did yesterday. What about it? It was actually fun, and I was wondering if we could do more. Aw, of course we can. But your going to have to act more like a baby. What do you mean? Cry when you’re scared, stuff like that. I can do that. Good. Now let’s have some breakfast. I’m a pretty good cook.

This needs to be redone and actually written with both hands on the keyboard. There are no quotation marks to separate the dialogue nor did you even attempt to discern what is said or done. This '<' and this '>' is not meant for action in stories. You write out what is said in detail, that <hugs> kinda stuff is used in those poorly done messenger RPs.

Read through the stories on here (From good writers) and learn exactly why yours is so horribly done.

It's like if microsoft sam did the whole thing: emotionless, completely dialogue, and no difference between the characters that we can tell.

Oh fuck, now I remember that you're that renamon obsessed freak with mental problems up the wazoo.

To put it bluntly, Mugi's MS Paint pictures have more story and are better crafted than this piece of crap.

3/10

Have you even played Resident Evil 4 bra?

Riiiiiiight, and I'm the hottest guy in school.

This is a masterpiece. I'm going to write a three page report on it. More, more! The fans clamor for more!

Locked on request of the OP.