Kyle sat on his bed playing an old and half broken Gameboy. Kyle was 8 years old, about 3 1/2 feet tall, had brown hair, and was skinny. Kyle was the bustard child to his alcoholic mother, he was a good boy, always prayed every night before bed, always said please and thank you, but he had a secret. Standing above him was a woman that looked about the age of 24. She had long straight pink hair, a perfect figure, 34 B-cup breast, and fairy wings. “Good morning Kyle!” the tall woman yelled, she had usually done this when he had woken up and started playing games before changing his diaper. “Good morning to you too Ms. Kim” Kyle said as he laid down knowing it is best not to fight her. “Aww I thought you liked it when I forced you” Kim pronounced as she pull down his shorts and proceeded to change him. Once Kim had finished she poofed the diaper away, she then sat Kyle in her lap. “I have something to tell” not knowing what Kim was doing Kyle just looked up at her. Suddenly Kim pushed Kyle’s lips to hers and passionately kiss him. After a few minutes Kim broke the kiss “My my aren’t you a cute one” she then lifted him onto the ground and told him to go play.

As Kyle walked down the stairs all he could think about was the kiss he had known her to be seductive but that wasn’t a seductive type of kiss. It was a kiss of love and passion. Kyle then found that it would be better for him to forget about and just go outside and play his Gameboy. Kyle went to the park and sat down playing his Gameboy. “Come on Kyle don’t you want to play anything other than that stupid game” his fairy said sitting next to him reading her book. Kyle ignored her and kept on playing his game, “It was worth a shot, anyway how was I?” Kim asked in his ear. Kyle kept on looking down onto his game as his faced turned red and he started wetting himself a little. “I’ll take it that was your first time but don’t worry there will be more” She then pushed him onto the ground and got on top of him. “Hope your ready” she said leaning down getting in range of a kiss.

Hope you liked, please tell me what you thought and give me idea's.

1. Too short

2. Don't start off by describing your character. Let the story describe him/her via actions or maybe dialogue.

3. An 8 year old boy passionately kissing a 24 year old is disturbing, unless you are an 8 yr old boy.

You mispelled mustard.

What? No plot? Add detail to it, boy.

This is very creepy, and not in a good way.

Oh, come on guys, don't be so hard on 'em. I mean, we've all attempted to passionately kiss women thrice our age when we were eight year--
...
Wait, what? What are you looking at me like that for?

It's been said already, but...too short. It's in danger of having plot deficiency, so I recommend a storyline booster-shot.

I usually don't agree with Uboa but I have to say that you may want to scrap this and try again. I really hate saying something like that to new writers (myself being one). It's just a little too disturbing for my tastes.

Okay guys I'm going to do the real thing now as for the kid I'll make him about 11 or 12 and it will be longer, thank you all and hopefully it'll be uploaded tonight.